Despite the absurdity of it, it’s no secret that in this day and age, people are taken at face value. Just from one glance you form an opinion of someone, from their like and dislikes to their most inner thoughts and feelings. And, it’s this default human response to meeting someone that can be troublesome for people with a mental illness.
Many people are under the impression that if you are depressed you should look visibly depressed, or if you have OCD you would seem visibly ‘quirky’ and touch everything 20 times in a joyful manner (thanks, social media). But the truth is, appearance isn’t everything, and you have no idea what is going on in the head of someone with mental illness; this is the inspiration for this post. The thoughts below are ones I personally get on a weekly, if not daily basis. While everyone is different, I hope that this post will perhaps help you understand that a smiling face and chatty nature doesn’t negate the turmoil going on inside a person.
22 daily thoughts, thanks to my mental illness
1. If I’m happy today, will people think I’m lying about my mental illnesses?
2. I want to explain to my friends so they understand, but I’m terrified they won’t.
3. I wish you wouldn’t compare my situation to yours right now, it’s hurting me more than helping.
4. I don’t deserve this relationship. I’m ruining my partners’ life.
5. I don’t deserve a good life.
6. When people look at me, do they see my OCD and depression and pity me?
7. Do people think I’m doing all of this for attention?
8. Does my mental health weigh more than my talents in the eyes of others?
9. Do I seem ungrateful or bitchy because I’m depressed?
10. I wish people would understand I want to spend time with them, but looking at my phone is crippling.
11. Do I look pitiful and weak in the eyes of my Doctors?
12. I bet everyone thinks I’m not trying hard enough. Does it look like I’m not trying hard enough?
13. Do people really understand, or do they pretend that I’m perfectly fine?
14. I just want to be normal.
15. I can’t do this for the rest of my life!
16. Get out of my head, get out of my head!
17. I’m so tired…
18. If I have children, will I pass this on to them?
19. Would everyone be better off if I wasn’t in their life?
20. I can see my mental illness inconveniencing others and it’s killing me.
21. If I acted like the real me, would people hate me?
22. I wish people would try and understand. I’m so lonely.