As of March 2016, after a gruiling, expensive and stressful process, Chad and I finally moved into our new flat together. I have never slept so soundly as I did that first night in our new, clean place. Never in my life have I lived with a partner before, and I was more than a little bit nervous. In preparation for the upcoming move, I did a little bit of research on the net (as any responsible millennial would do). I had no idea what to expect. Would it be like one long sleep over? Would it be like that one family event that you always get excited for but just end up sipping a cup of tea (possibly topped with something stronger) wondering why in the hell you even came?
Despite my faith in our compatibility, I was honestly anxious. As the date grew closer, a million and one questions began to float around my brain. Was a year too soon? Were we rushing things? would it be the bitter sweet end to an otherwise glorious relationship? Were we going to have our own version of ‘You, me and Dupree’ in which bills and rent would replace Owen Wilson?
I needn’t have worried at all. From the moment we stepped into our new place together I knew there was nothing to worry about. I mean, I was about to move in with my best friend who lets me cwtch up agains them, what could be better?Despite this, the last two months have been a huge learning curve, and while we are still fledglings learning to navigate the skies that is living with someone you love, I have learned a lot already.
So here I am, to sharing with you from a beginners point of view, some things I’ve learned about living with someone else.
YOU WILL ANNOY EACH OTHER
Let me just jump right in here with this one. ‘But were so in love’ I hear you cry out. Well, my darling readers, I don’t care if you are Romeo and Juliet reincarnated, it is impossible not to annoy each other. When two people are placed in such small spaces together with little room for personal space, the air does sometimes grow a little thick. But don’t worry, these annoyances are far outweighed by the good stuff. Which leads me on to my next point;
IT’S HEALTHY TO FIGHT, BUT MAN IS IT AWKWARD
Everyone fights, and when you are constantly on top of one another (figuratively and literally) it’s hard to hide your claws and growls. However, unlike when you had separate places to go to, there is suddenly no place to hide, to retreat. Your partner is always there, constantly reminding you why you were angry in the first place before subsequently making you forget moments later.
YOU HAVE TO ACCEPT THAT THE SPACE YOU HAVE ISN’T YOURS ALONE
Unlike before, the space you own is now shared. From your bathroom to your bedroom, the space is shared between you and your partner and this is something that is often easy to forget but really shouldn’t. Respecting your partners space and things will go a long way. Speaking of which…
DOUBLE THE STUFF MEANS DOUBLE THE CLUTTER
Unless your partner was previously homeless or is an avid minimalist, you will suddenly find yourself with double the stuff and half the space. This is something both Chad and I are working through, but we’re getting there. Needless to say it’s mainly my stuff that’s taking up the room…sorry love.
YOU LEARN THINGS ABOUT YOUR PARTNER YOU ARE AMAZED YOU NEVER KNEW BEFORE
One of my favourite parts about living with Chad, has been learning more about him. Before moving in together I honestly thought that I knew everything there was to know about his bushy browed self, but boy! was I wrong. Everyday I learn new things about him, both the good and the bad, and I appreciate and love every single one. Even his insistence of putting the toilet paper on backwards…even that.
YOU LEARN MORE ABOUT YOURSELF THAN YOU THOUGHT POSSIBLE
I had no idea about this one. As if looking in a mirror, I have grown transparent to myself. I now see my faults and my strengths so clearly that I can no longer hide behind the frosted glass of solitude. My actions no longer affect just me, and this fact has forced me to look at parts of myself I have spent a lot of time avoiding. It’s hard, and sometimes it hurts, but I feel like my relationship with myself is growing stronger as my relationship with his does. He is helping me to get to know me, giving me an outsiders perspective, and to me, thats invaluable.
IT IS ONE OF THE BEST DECISIONS I EVER MADE
I can’t guarantee to you, my wonderful reader, that moving in with your partner will always work out. No one can. However, I can tell you that everything good in this life is worth working for. Moving in with Chad was a (calculated) leap of faith, and one I am so so happy I made.
So there it is, my very rookie but honest advise/things to remember post about moving in with a partner for the firs time. Whether you are thinking about it, or are already living together, I hope this post spoke to you in some way, or was at least a little bit entertaining. Good luck!