This week went a lot better.
The start of the week started out with a very strange Tuesday, in which I was called into the principles office. I was so nervous, wondering what was up. He told me he had had a phone call from my contracting organisation saying I had been having…difficulties. This happened to me once more during the day and then again on Wednesday. It seems as though all of the schools I work at now know about my ‘crazy’, and some people are very concerned about me.
I was a little nervous at the start, since Japan is not known for it’s kind acceptance of mental health. Thankfully, everyone was wonderful and supportive and told me to take care and give myself a break. I wasn’t sure how to take it. On the one hand I felt a little relieved, to not have to painfully pretend to be perfectly fine. On the flip side, however, every time I frown I have people worried, telling me I look sick…I look troubled. I understand that my contracting organisation may have to inform the schools I work at, I just wish they had given me a heads up so I wouldn’t have been so blind sided.
I took time to myself this week. I took time to blog, to drink tea, to be with my boyfriend. I cleaned my house and turned my space into somewhere that made me feel relaxed and happy. I moisturized and submerged myself into my favourite vlogs and books. I realised that lately I haven’t had much time to just be me, with stress and plans always getting in the way.
Friday was a little blip in time, with one of my schools pushing me to the limit. Recently, a few forms haven’t been filled in, forms that should have been handed me to around two months ago. In the last two weeks they have begun to panic and have been pushing me for forms I do not have. On Friday one teacher in particular became condescending and I just broke. I sat silently as a stone in a storm and spent half the morning planning my speech. In the ten minutes between classes I pulled my teacher aside and explained to her my situation. I explained how my mental health is affecting my memory, how I can’t even remember what I ate for breakfast some days. I shocked her into silence and left myself in a panic all day. Would my entire workplace find out? Would they hate me now? Would they treat me like even more of a child than usual? So far it’s as if the conversation never happened, and a part of me is happy for it.
I spent my friday evening watching RuPaul’s Drag Race and Don’t Tell The Bride with Claire. Good god some of those men are idiots. It was the perfect end to a decent week. Just the relaxing evening I would need before the grueling Peron practice that took place the next day. Honestly, it was horrendous. The rain poured form the heavens and soaked us from head to toe as we heaved through the ocean, dragging our boat over the heavy waves.
My evening was saved, however, with a visit from Renae who was staying over. We spent the evening laughing hysterically at the new snapchat filters and filling our bellies with delicious vegetarian Ramen courtesy of Chad.
We rounded of the week with an afternoon of fun and games at one of Chads schools. Located in the north of the city, the school has the most beautiful views and despite the heat, we had an amazing time.
There were some challenging times this week, but over all I feel a little better. My OCD in particular has been a little better…Either way, I hope this coming week will be even better.
I hope you are all having a great week and the weather is sunny and fine wherever you are.