I can’t think.
My brain, it feels so busy, yet as empty as the unused vacuum sitting in the corner of my room.
I should get up. I should move.
I want to cry.
If I get up, I’ll have to climb back into bed and get up again….
But I like things in sets of fours, not twos.
Just get up, your phone is ringing.
Ringing means people.
People will ask.
I will have to talk.
Do I still even have a mouth?
When was the last time I used it?
Louder and louder it calls to me. Jeering at my silence.
Tears fill my eyes and burn.
I move under the quilt, letting the fabric swallow me whole as I slide into it’s soft, warm stomach.
I lay, and wait- decomposing.
To those of you who think that people who suffer any sort of mental health issues can ‘just walk it off’, you are abominable. Your incapability to comprehend the complexity of mental health is astounding. Like any other ailment it takes root in a body, refuses to let go. However, unlike other illnesses, it doesn’t only attack the body, but the mind; the soul. A biological chemical imbalance. That is what it means to have a mental illness. Medication is prescribed for it, just like every other physical sickness and there are doctors, just as qualified, to prescribe it. I am unapologetic in my rudeness towards those who think little of mental illness. That people should just ‘get a grip’. You are not just spitting on me, but on others I love who suffer, on those who are no longer with us because the thought of living was too much. You are uneducated and I suggest you read up on what you intend to condemn, before you make an utter asshole of yourself. There is nothing worse than an uninformed idiot.
For those of you who are suffering with mental health issues, you are not alone. A walk won’t just cure you, and please don’t dispair when it doesn’t. You are not alone. There are so many people out there who understand and care about what you are going through. If you ever feel otherwise, visit #TalkMH on twitter, and join a fantastic and supportive community. Or even message me, I have time for you.
For those who think mental health issues are a trivial, minuscule problem conjured by the minds of people who just need to ‘sort it’ and ‘go for a walk’ then I hope all your coffee and tea runs dry and you have the shittiest of weekends from now until forever.
Everyone else, have a wonderful weekend and remember, understanding goes a long way.